If you are either a new member or thinking of becoming a new member and would like more information about the Grumpy Old Men (The Grumpies) and what we're all about, the following is a short description of topics in which we think you might be interested. In some cases, it directs you to a more detailed explanation of the subject (e.g. Event Format).
The only requirement to join the Grumpy Old Men Golf Club is to be 55 or older. It also helps to have a passion for golf and a good sense of humor (we don't allow grumps in our club). There is no fee for joining.
If you want to join, click on the link below. You will see an email message in your mail app asking for some information (e.g. Who are you?). Fill in the blanks and send it. It will go to the Grumpy Old Men Golf Club where you will be added to the member list.
Click here to join: I want to join! or, if you're not convinced, read on.
If you're fussy about who you associate with and want to see the current members, just click here: Current Membership.
Let's get right to the important stuff - GOLF. The first thing most golfers want to know is more detail about the golf: where and when do we play, what are our tee times, do we play in flights, who will I play with, what tee boxes do we play, what if I don't have a GHIN handicap, are there any special rules we play by, and how much does it cost? So let's get to it.
On Monday mornings, we usually play Waterchase Golf Club (unless it falls on a holiday or it conflicts with another event). Wednesdays we rotate between different courses in the area. While the courses may change a bit from year to year, there are some pretty reliable ones we count on. If you click on Courses at the top of the screen, you will see what other courses we play. If you then click on the course name, you will be linked to its website.
We always have shotgun tee times and tee off early in the morning. In the summer that means 7:30. As it gets colder and the days get shorter, the tee times may be as late as 9:00 or even later with very cold weather. The course management may impose a frost delay if it deems it necessary to avoid damaging the fairways or greens.
There are nearly 200 official members of The Grumpies. Of course not all of them play every week and some who may be on the roles may not have played in more than a year. We are limited by each course to from 60 to 72 golfers. Sometimes we will be able to negotiate for a few more times if a lot of players sign up. The actual number that play on any given day will depend to a large extent on the weather forecast but, except for the weather, we usually come close to (or meet) the limit.
We play two sets of tees which we refer to as the Back Tees and the Forward Tees. The Back Tee flights are 1CH (aka Championship), A, B, C, and D and are usually around 6000 yards (give or take a few hundred yards). Anyone can play from the Back tees. The Forward Tee flights are F1, F2, and F3, are usually around 5000 yards (give or take), and are reserved for the super-seniors (age 80+) and others who have indicated a need for the shorter course.
Back tee players are flighted according to their handicap and Forward tee players according to their handicap. Back tee and Forward tee players are never in the same flight (I know - sounds obvious, but ...).
Golf is one of the few sports that uses handicaps (horse racing does sometimes - probably bowling). If you are very interested in how handicaps are computed, click on Handicaps at the top of the screen for an explanation. Otherwise, just accept what they tell you your handicap is.
As a new member, you should know that the handicap you will be playing with is based on how you score when playing with us. It is not your GHIN handicap which some (or many) of you may have if you are a member of the USGA and turn your scores in regularly. Part of the reason for this is that we have some exceptions to the USGA Rules of Golf which would give us a different score than if we played strictly by USGA rules. Those are explained in the Rules tab. The one exception to this is if you have a GHIN handicap when you first join the Grumpies, it will be used until you have at least 3 rounds played with us. We do, however, compute your handicap using the same system that GHIN does (i.e. the World Handicap System which the USGA started using in 2020).
While we adhere mostly to the USGA Rules of Golf, in the interest of more fun and pace of play, there are some exceptions. For example, we treat a lost ball or out of bounds as a lateral water hazard - take a 1-shot penalty and drop near where it was lost or went out of bounds. For more details about these excepions, click on the Rules tab at the top of the screen.
What should you expect to pay for all this? It's a bargain!
When you show up at the course the morning of the event, you should first go to the pro shop and pay your green fee. This is typically between $40 and $50 including cart and range balls. Waterchase charges for range balls but their green fees tend to be a bit lower. A tip: when getting range balls at Waterchase, find a friend or two and split a small bucket. Their definition of small is 40-50 balls.
When you play in a Grumpy event, you are on the hook for at least $5 for Place Money - Low Net within your flight (usually 5 or 6 places depending on the size of your flight). You may optionally elect to participate in some side bets including Low Gross ($5), Gross Skins ($3), and Closest to the Pin ($2). Everything is within your flight. See Event Format for more information.
Again, optionally, you may join the Hole-in-One Club by paying a $5 fee which is held in the Hole-in-One Pot until someone gets (you guessed it) a hole-in-one, at which time the lucky (or good?) golfer collects the balance in the pot and you get to decide whether to pay another $5 for the next hole-in-one. The payout for this contest is often over $1000.
There is a second Hole-in-One opportunity which is free. It is funded by "left-over prize money" from the other competitions. Again, look at Event Format for more details about this freebie.
Of course, to take advantage of all this good stuff, you have to first sign up. The Calendar tab shows the schedule of events for as far out as is known. In the calendar is a Status field which, if it says OPEN, means you can sign up. There is a limit on the number of tee times a course will reserve for us and, multiplied by 4, determines the maximum number of players that can sign up. Our Calendar shows what the limit is for each scheduled event and how many are currently signed up. If the status is FULL, you can still sign up and be put on the waiting list in case someone cancels or we are able to get more tee times.
There is a field in the Calendar which, if you want to sign up, you click on this field and it will generate an email message to Grumpy headquarters with your request.
The Grumpy staff maintains a list of players who have indicated their intention to play every Monday and/or every Wednesday. These players will be pre-registered for those events without having to go through the regular sign-up process. It is their responsibility to withdraw if they do not intend to play that day. When you look at the Calendar, it may show FULL several weeks ahead of the tournament. This is because of the Everies. Don't let this deter you from signing up and going on Wait List as many Everies often cancel before the tournament.
You sign in the morning of the event at the golf course. Go to the Pro Shop and pay your green fee and then find our table (usually in the dining area) and finish the sign-in process by paying your entry fee(s) and finding out what foursome you are in and what your starting hole assignment is.
Please be there at least 15 minutes before your tee time.
You're all set. Go to the range, the putting green, the chipping green, and get ready for a great day. Just don't miss your tee time. If you do not know the people you are playing with, take this opportunity to find them, find your cart, and decide who will be the driver and who will be the passenger.
You and your cart partner should head for your starting hole in time to make your tee time. When your entire group is there, then go ahead and tee off (but not too early). Two players in different carts should keep score and the cards reconciled before turning in your score in the pro shop (they will have a place for you to drop off your card). You will usually get the results later that same day or the next. If you won any money, you can collect it the next time you play.
Welcome to the Grumpies and Good Golfing!!!